"I am tired, not of arguing in favour of equality, diversity and tolerance, but of having to explain, over and over and over again, why such arguments are still necessary, only to have my evidence casually dismissed by someone too oblivious to realise that their dismissal of the problem is itself a textbook example of the fucking problem. I am tired of being mocked by hypocrites who think that a single lazy counterexample is sufficient to debunk the fifteen detailed examples they demanded I produce before they’d even accept my point as a hypothetical, let alone valid, argument. I am tired of assholes who think that playing Devil’s Advocate about an issue alien to their experience but of deep personal significance to their interlocutor makes them both intellectually superior and more rationally objective on the specious basis that being dispassionate is the same as being right (because if they can stay calm while savagely kicking your open wound, then clearly, you have no excuse for screaming)."
"ON THE SPECIOUS BASIS THAT BEING DISPASSIONATE IS THE SAME AS BEING RIGHT"
ugh bless this
"We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another, unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made of layers, cells, constellations."
happy to report that i placed into the portuguese as a second language level i was aiming for for my study abroad
proud of myself
alsooooo this means keben and i will be taking the same portuguese class.
i know i should stay present, especially with all that is left to do before i have to leave, but i’m mad excited.
i’m gonna own up to my learning processes.
-giving myself a fucking break
-acknowledging that this wouldn’t be school/life if i wasn’t learning
-not being ashamed of asking for help
-acknowledging that growth and learning can hurt
-but knowing that that’s okay
-and that as long as i have people supporting me and loving me, i will get through it
-all this shit has been/can be/will be worth it
hit with a few key realizations today and subsequent real ass acceptances of some fuck ups from this semester
then attended a lecture series where i happened to hear the EXACT right stories/pieces of advice from two compassionate and charismatic professors of color on campus
apart from that, had some conversations with a few loved ones today where real understanding was achieved.
i swear today felt like i was some protagonist in a TV show and at the end of the day, twinkly music came on because *~*lesson learned~*~*
felt everything come into place. all will be well.
i’m gonna stay calm. this will be over soon. this will be worth it.
it’s days like today where i can’t help but believe there’s something or someone or some force looking out for me.
or maybe i should give myself the credit for the resilience.
i will not let this place drag me down and pull me below a point of true darkness.
i still have wings.
about to eat dinner and watch the mid-season finale of the walking dead *~*~with~*~*~ keben.